Away She Goes

So, EG had been teasing her daddy for about 2 weeks to take the training wheels off of her bike.  She wanted to ride her bike without training wheels.  We knew once they came off, it would take a little work to get her to ride.  We told her when the wheels came off she could only ride with a helmet on, in the back yard, until she learned how to ride it without falling.

Finally, about a week ago, on a Saturday, daddy finally had time to take the training wheels off.  We had been gone most of the day.  When we got home I told her that the wheels were off.  She was super excited.  She went right into the backyard and picked up her bike and got on it.  I didn't have a chance, right at that moment, to help her out.

A few minutes later, Boop comes in and says EG is riding her bike.  And sure enough she was.  Apparently Boop held the bike for her so she could get on and get started and then gave her a little shove and off she went!  She was riding like a champ within a few minutes.  She was riding all over the backyard.  Boop took a video but I can't seem to load it on my computer to include it in the blog.

The next day, we took her out on the road and she did fabulous.  I would like to say that we had a part in it, but that would not be the truth.  Boop saved the day!  It was all him.

The both accomplished a lot that day . . .

Happy, Happy Birthday Nature Girl

I am not sure if that nickname applies much anymore!  As of 5:15 this morning I officially have a teenager.  She enjoys being outside, still, but she has turned into quite a young lady.  She is beautiful and graceful and she loves to sing.  All the time.  She brings so much life into our house!  I won't go into her birth story.  It is in this blog somewhere.

She was a month early, was in the hospital for more days than I would have liked.  She was our first and we learned soooooo much about being a parent.  Now she is the first teenager.  In preparation for this momentous occasion, I read a book called Age of Opportunity.  I am choosing to approach this new stage of life with the idea that it is an opportunity of growth and maturing and becoming a responsible adult.  A time where so much about life can be learned and navigated but still under our care and protection and guidance.  (A time for growth for us as well!!)

We will celebrate her all day.  No chores for her.  Cupcakes tonight after dinner.  We have dress rehearsal tonight for the Easter Musical we are in. But, Monday, she is having a small luncheon at a local cafe with a few of her friends.  And then daddy will take her for dinner next weekend.

Anyway, Happy, Happy, Happy 13th birthday to my beautiful baby girl . . . .

Date Night

This past Friday was date night.  Daddy took Nature Girl out on a date.  And I took Boop out on a date.  And oddly enough we all ended up at the same place at the end of the night.

Daddy took NG to Bonefish for a very belated birthday dinner.  They had a nice time, ate great food and watched people.  She had never been to Bonefish before and definitely enjoyed it.  They went to a local craft store after that and did some shopping for her Market Days crafts.  Much needed daddy daughter time.

I took Boop to Steak and Shake where we both ate too much!  He and I talked about all kinds of different things.  I asked him what his favorite subject in school was and he rolled his eyes at me and said "Awe mom."  Kind of like "give me a break."  But, then he answered that he likes to read.  He is a great reader!

Both hubby and I agreed then when a child is alone with one of us, they act different.  I guess, maybe, because they are not in competition to be heard.  Who knows.  It is a great time though.  I know it doesn't happen often enough, but I am glad that we got the chance this past week to hang out one on one.

Anyway, both Boop and I got a shake after dinner.  As we were walking out to the car, I heard someone call Boop's name.  I turned around, and in the drive thru at Steak and Shake, were daddy and NG.  NG was getting her dessert!

We chatted with them while they waited for the shake.  Then Boop and I went to spend some of his birthday money and then we met everyone at home.  We all crashed on the couch and watched the rest of the movie LM and EG were watching, the original movie Yours, Mine and Ours.  (Such a cute movie.)

It takes some coordinating to get the time alone.  But, I think it was enjoyable evening all the way around . . .

Mom of the Year Award

As I get older and busier, it seems to me that many of the details of life seem to escape me.

Today is one of those days that the major details of life went unnoticed.  Much to the determent of my oldest daughter.

I sent her on a 20 mile bike ride unprepared.  No water and no sunscreen.  We were on time and she did have a bright shirt, though!

But, most unfortunately was, her bike was not in proper working order.  It was checked out two weeks ago and passed inspection (they are getting ready to go on a 3-4 day bike trip in our part of the state.)  There were some issues that needed to be addressed and, as her parents, we failed to get them taken care of.

I would love to have a list of excuses of why it happened but I just don't.  We were unprepared.  I don't think hubby and I really had a concept of what the kids would be doing today.  I don't think NG had a concept of what she would be doing today!

Her bike, if it had been in great shape, would have been OK.  But, it isn't a bike, really, for what the kids are doing.  Riding on the road great distances.

Plus, there were hills.  Big hills.  She has been riding around our neighborhood almost everyday like the Pastor R said.  But, we have no hills.

NG said at one point, she wanted to just sit down and cry and ask to get in the truck (while they were working on her bike).  But, she decided she was not a quitter.  The other kids and adult riders were constantly encouraging her.  And she made it back.  She did not quit.  On the way home I asked her if she wanted to continue training and to go on the trip and she gave me a definite yes.  (I think I might have given up!)

I felt bad.  I couldn't do much about what she was to expect because we had no idea.  But, we could have prepared her bike better.  Made sure it was in top performing shape.  Given her proper equipment.

The whole bike riding thing has a huge learning curve for us.  Today the curve was massive.  We have all learned a lot and are thankful that every one was safe and had a good time.  And, next week, we will be way more prepared for her adventure.  I am one proud mama for a daughter who wasn't willing to quit.  Even when she had more than good reason to . . .

Day Two Parts Three and Four

We decided to take the whole crew out for dinner Saturday night.  We were on the beach and we decided to eat seafood.  I say all that because it was an hour wait (if not more) for a table (or four) for all 17 of us.  I know I keep saying 17 of us but considering there were 11 kids and 6 adults the thought of all of us going to dinner at a busy, touristy, beachy restaurant was a little daunting.  ;)

The kids (and adults) handled the wait great.  And when we finally were seated, all the big girls sat at one table.  The three boys sat at another table and we were brave enough to let the little girls have a table all to themselves.  That meant the adults all got to eat together!  With no kids at the table.  Boy were we a sight.  Our servers were great and did such an awesome job to work with us.  The food was delicious, hubby was able to see part of the baseball game and the best part was the kids were PHENOMENAL.  After over an hour wait and then having to wait to get food and then, of course, finishing their food before the adults were done, there was not one incident or accident of any kind.  They stayed at their tables, the did not beg, whine or complain.  They entertained themselves until we were all ready to go.  They were a true testament to Godly parenting!  (Yes, I am totally bragging and being a little prideful but it is so nice when it happens!!  When all the hard work pays off!!!)

After dinner we went back to the beach and went shell and ghost crab hunting.  It was a beautiful breezy night.  We walked and walked and walked.  

A wonderful way to end a wonderful day . . . 

Dry All Night

I am a slow learner, about a lot of things, but the potty training thing only took me one child.

I started potty training NG before Little Mama came along. She wasn't even two. People told me I needed to start about that time. Especially with a new baby on the way. I was not the least bit successful. And, both NG and I were frustrated.

I decided to take the laid back approach with Little Mama and then Boop. Let them let me know when they were ready. When they had a vocabulary to tell me potty, etc. Both were potty trained by 2 1/2. With relative frustration all the way around.

For LM and Boop, I barely did a thing. I helped them on the big potty when they wanted to. And, granted, it might have taken a couple months to fully get them trained but it was totally stress free. I don't think LM ever had an accident and was night trained before NG was. Boop practically did it all by himself. He had a few accidents, but over all it was stress free.

So, when EG decided before Christmas she wanted to go potty, I was fine with it and just let her progress at her own pace. We have gone two steps forward and four steps back in some weeks. And then, we have had big time bonus days with no accidents what so ever.

I bribe for potty training. M&Ms, jelly beans and now butterscotch chips. She is learning a skill so I don't think it really is bribery. It is encouragement. ;) We use the big potty. And, yes I have to put her up there but I am OK with that.

I started using pull-ups with Boop because having older children I just had to feel safe going out in public. I only used them when we are out of the house. I use them with EG also. Probably a little more because we seem to be on the go a little more.

I just figured out right away that the kids, if they go to college, won't be going in a diaper. And, if I stressed ,they would stress. Yes, I have had to change poopy underwear and yes, I have just spent most of Boop's t-ball game in the potty with EG, but, no worries.

As with everything else, this too shall pass. And, for the first time in 10 years, I will be diaper free. But, for now I am enjoying the fact that EG woke up dry. For the first time. Small steps, baby steps, no worries . . .

Should Have Known

During dinner, while I was answering the 100th question from 3 of my 4 children, a conversation I had with a previous co-worker popped into my head. My former co-worked mentioned about all of the questions that toddlers ask.

My reply, to the comment, was "my toddler never asks me questions." I have to admit, I was kind of proud. I felt, maybe, she just knew what everything was. What did I know, I was a first time mother of a toddler and had a newborn. Pride, pride, pride.

Anyway, to this day, I can probably count on my hands the number of times my first born has asked me a question about something she didn't already know (obviously an exaggeration but hopefully you get the point.)

It has since dawned on me, after being peppered with questions from her three younger siblings, that my oldest doesn't ask me many questions because she knows it all. (Insert sarcasm.) I love her very much and she is very smart in a lot of things and honestly she does know a lot, but, as I tried to politely, and lovingly, explain to her that her body isn't made out of sand and that she needs to eat fruits and vegetables to stay healthy, that maybe, just maybe, she doesn't know everything. Just yet. . .

Dry Erase Boards

My friend made a joke yesterday about all the dry erase boards around her house. She has three, I think, but they all fulfill a certain purpose. Been there, done that. I have three, at last count. But, I know I had more at one time. I just finally needed to get rid of some of them.

My purpose changes for each one. Right now, I have one for math. Kids dig doing math on a dry erase board. Instead of buying all the fancy manipulatives, I just draw most of it on the board.

In the beginning of my homeschooling journey, I bought one that I was going to write on every day. I had read somewhere that to encourage a new reader, write a sentence on it and day after day it would tell a story. That dry erase board was huge and I think that is the one I have gotten rid of.

Little Mama used one to practice writing. I still have that one because it has nifty little lines on it.

My newest addition is a pretty, small, square, white board with a sky blue boarder and I keep in the kitchen. It has four sections: training, to-dos, chores for the day and major projects. It has worked pretty well. I have found that if I just write it down, somewhere where I can see it, be reminded about it, then I am more likely to get it done.

There have been times when the kids have done something for which they deserve some type of punishment. Dessert taken away for example. Hard to believe, I know. ;) By the time dinner would roll around, I would forget all about the punishment. But, not now! It goes under the "training" heading. I also list habits we are working on. Right now it is making sure that the proper cleaning is being done in the shower. Also, under training, is my goal to teach Nature Girl how to iron. Lastly, is mine and Boop's sessions on how to brush teeth properly. It is amazing to me what I can forget, so know I have a daily reminder of what I want/need to get done.

Under daily chore is what The Flylady tells me to do for the day. I also include any chore hubby has asked me to do. When I accomplish those tasks I erase them off. It is a great feeling.

There is a section for a major chore or task I am trying to accomplish. Something that will take more than a day or two. Right now I am working on photo albums of the family to send out. I have finally finished the actual albums, now I just have to address the envelopes and send them out. But, I won't erase it until it is completely done. Because I know me well enough, that if I erase it too soon, it will take me forever to mail them.

The last section is the "to-do" section and it has little odds and ends like making phone calls or fix the dresser. Things that need to get done sooner rather than later. But, there is never more than two or three under that heading. Otherwise it gets overwhelming and then nothing gets done.

I am finally getting into some type of rhythm. Sort of. I am finding things that work for us. I get my ideas from a bunch of other women and mash them all together. And then see what works. And I am getting there. Slowly, but surely.

Anyway, all that to say, I am all for dry erase boards. And many of them . . .

Horse Camp, Part II

Yesterday we attempted horse camp again. When we had our little dilemma last go around, we asked Nature Girl if she was interested in signing up for a different week. When we gave her the choice, she was told that if we signed her up and paid, she was going to have to go no matter what.

I think she thought about it for a day or two and decided she wanted to go. I explained again, that if we signed her up, she would be going. I needed to make sure she understood. She was sure. I got in touch with the lady who runs the camp (which happens to be our old babysitter) and she told me she would save a spot for Nature Girl. And, that she was happy that NG decided to go.

Over the weekend, we bought riding boots and made sure we had jeans etc. Sunday night, Nature Girl went to bed very excited. And, of course, had a hard time sleeping. She woke up yesterday morning excited and ready to go.

As we drove to camp, she began telling me she was really tired. I told her she would get energy once we got there. I could see, on her face, that we might have a potential problem. So, we started to talk about camp and what was the worse that could happen. I encouraged her to focus on all the great things she had done the year before. All the reasons she wanted to go back this year. I asked her if she was concerned about not knowing anyone. And she said yes.

My heart went out to her. It is so funny to me, as we parent, how much of our own experiences go it to how we parent. I pulled off to the side of the road and we talked a little bit more. We talked about how God doesn't want us to fear the unknown. That He actually calls us to do things that we are uncomfortable with. Because that is how are faith in Him grows. He wants us to have a healthy fear to keep us safe, so we don't do things that are truly dangerous. But, fear that keeps us from doing something good, or something we want to do or that He is calling us to do, can be sin.

We prayed and I asked God to calm her heart and to be with her. I prayed that she would make a friend and be a friend. And that even if she felt alone, God was with her and would direct her and protect her.

I dropped her off and she asked me to stay for a little bit, which I did. Then, lo and behold, a friend from church showed up. Nature Girl took one look at me and said her good byes! All morning, I kept my cell phone close by. But, it never rang.

When hubby went to pick her up, of course, she was so excited. And couldn't wait to go back this morning. I will admit, we went through some of the same things this morning. And, we did the same routine. Talked and prayed and I stayed for a little bit. She then assured me I could leave. Again, I kept my cell phone close. And again, it didn't ring.

I am proud of her for sticking it out. Not falling apart. I hope this experience is great for her, on so many levels . . .

Think Orange

I just started reading a new book. The premise of this particular book is that if the church (yellow, bright light, the lampstand) and the family (red, warm hearts) would work together (thus creating orange), what an effect it would have on this generation and the next generation and the next generation, etc. (You get the idea.) "Two combined influences make a greater impact than just two influences." (All my quotes, unless otherwise noted are from the book Think Orange by Reggie Joiner.)

I am on the second or third chapter (hard to tell because of the way the book is set up.) Anyway, the following quotes have resonated with me big time, especially because of where we are in our family, homeschooling, training up period of our lives:

"There is something that bothers me. A lot of Christian parenting books I have read start with the premise that there is an ideal mom or dad. Theses superparents conduct morning devotions, pray together every night, play contemporary Christian music, put framed verses on their walls, stay neatly within their biblical roles as husband and wife, vote conservatively, and attend church every week, where they give 10 percent of their income."

"The problem is, I don't find a lot of good parenting examples in the Bible." And he goes on to list some of the more well known biblical parents.

"This motivates me: My parents were exponentially better at parenting than their parents." Which, if you follow his theory, our children will be better parents then we were. That gives me hope.

In just the first few pages of the book, he is trying to explain that a family's role is to love and demonstrate God's character through an unconditional relationship. Of course, he does not minimize the obedience to God's laws. But, there has to be that relationship there first. An unconditional love relationship that mirrors God's love.

As a rule follower, an advice taker, and a huge consumer of family and marriage books, all this information was very up lifting. Being brutally honest here, having unconditional love relationships is not my strong suit. But, after reading a few pages of this book, along with things my pastor has said and my continuing "struggle" with certain things, I think I have stumbled on to something.

One of the greatest things I can do for my children is demonstrate my unconditional love for God, my unconditional love for my husband and my unconditional love for them. Put God as the center of our house, in ALL things. And show them I am not perfect BUT when I fail I can ask forgiveness from those I have offended and from God.

"It is important to help parents understand that their role is not to impress their children or anyone else with their ability to parent. Their role is to impress on their children the love and character of God. . . . you help them parent from the perspective of a bigger story, one that allows room for our missteps but still encourages us to participate."

"God is at work telling a story of restoration and redemption through your family . . . learn to cooperate with whatever God desires to do in your heart today so your children will have a front-row seat to the grace and goodness of God."

What a relief!! I don't have to be perfect, I don't have to get it right, I don't have to follow the Pearls (although the do have some really great ideas.) But, when I don't get it right (and I get it wrong more than I get it right) God is going to use all of it for His glory, His story.

I have much more to understand, much more to change, much more to contemplate, much more to figure out and learn. But, I think I am on to something . . .

Quotes

I love quotes. There are so many good ones out there. Saw this one today on FB:

"Vigorous let us be in attaining our ends, and mild in our method of attainment." - Lord Newborough, British Aristocrat (1736-1807)

This quote can apply to so many different situations. But, the friend who posted it felt that it applied very well to parenting. I agree . . .