Boot Camp is over. It has failed. Not for any other reason then it was too labor intensive for my part in the plan. In theory it was great! It had lots of benefits - obedience, hard work, getting things done around the house. But, it took too much of my time. I found that I had to follow up and make sure they had done their punishment chore. And a lot of times their punishment chore couldn't be done at the time of the offense. And then I would forget. I know all great plans take effort in the beginning to reap the rewards. But this just wasn't working out.
So for many weeks we just didn't do anything. I was getting increasingly frustrated. And then a very open mother of 3 soon to be 4 posted to my homeschool email group, a very transparent email about her own troubles of immediate obedience (and other similar issues.) A couple of our moms who have "gone before" took the time to respond to her (and the rest of our group.) And their words were so helpful. One mom gave about 5 or 6 ideas to guide this particular mom. Another mom backed up the first mom but encouraged her (and the rest of us) to use tools as a supplement to God's word. Another mom said how much she needed to hear what the others had shared. I was one of those moms who needed to hear.
Anyway, the following is another stolen idea that we have had in the works since yesterday. I bought a role of tickets from Staples. Each time a child obeys immediately they get a ticket. When a certain number of tickets are collected (different amounts for different ages) a special treat is in store for that child. Examples of some treats: stay up late, extra cookie after dinner, play video game during the week, trade in ticket to get out of a chore. If they don't obey immediately they get a ticket taken away. As daddy explained to the kids on Sunday, it is a work in progress. My MIL called it bribery and I suppose in a way it is. But it has been surprising to me how many times a day I ask them to do something. And if I have to tell them more than once, well you get the idea. Things that are excluded from a ticket are those things they all ready know to do. Like chore charts and turning off lights and table manners.
Yesterday we had to leave the house on two separate occasions. This is usually when rubber hits the road. I usually have to scream and nag and remind them to find shoes, brush hair, go to the bathroom, put such and such away. Yesterday, nothing but a soft voice giving directions. For the most part I got a "Yes, ma'am" and the chore was done.
I am not going to kid myself, who knows if I will stick with it. And I have been wondering how do I wean them from the tickets. But it worked yesterday and it is working so far today. That is really all I can worry about for the moment . . .
2 comments:
Sounds like an idea worth trying -- good luck with it!
Moment by moment I say...that study I was talking about, "shepherding a child's heart" speaks of bribery and gives biblical grounds why not to do it..so I have been pondering that BUT I think as long as you don't have to bribe them to do everything then the ticket acts as a gentle reminder so you don't have to be a complete nag all the time. I am going thru this with Emily...she is not directly disobedient but forgets for a lack of a better word...she acts almost flighty sometimes. Maybe I could use the ticket as a way to help her think thru what she needs to remember. I hate to be nagging all the time. I don't want my voice to be like nails on a chalkboard to her and I try to hard to build her up too but things gotta get done around here!!!
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