My Oldest

Anybody who knows me knows I don't cut my oldest daughter a whole lot of slack.  I expect a lot from her.  She is the oldest and that comes with a ton of responsibility.  At least it does in our house.  I have big hopes and dreams for her!

I am feeling a little guilty though.  I focus way too much on the negative and not nearly enough on the positive.  Of which she has a ton of wonderful qualities!  Not only is she beautiful and graceful but she is always, always happy.  She is a whistle while she works kind of gal.  And always singing.  And boy can she work when she puts her mind to it.  She loves to clean and straighten and organize.  For our time together last week, she wanted us to clean out the school room.  Which we did, together.  I love doing that stuff too so it was cool to do it together.

She is honest and truthful.  And is constantly "confessing."  She calls them like she sees them.  And, in all honesty, I get that!  One of her biggest faults, for lack of a better word is, not everything needs to be said.  And just because it is true doesn't make it appropriate to say.  Oddly enough that is probably one of my biggest faults as well.

Anyway, she tells me everything!  I mean everything!  There have been times when I wish she hadn't told me things because I don't know what to do with her information.  We keep those lines of communication open.  I tell her all the time, I might have to address and correct the things she tells me or take some type of action but the discipline/punishment/action for letting me know will be a lot less "damaging" then not telling me at all.

Sure, I question some of the choices she makes.  She thinks differently then me.  But, I see her wheels in her brain working these days.  I see little glimpse of comprehension on her face.   She is determined and knows what she wants.  When she follows through on a task it is done perfectly.

She is smart and inquisitive.  And, I believe, loves to "learn."  Although she wouldn't call it learning.  She has a thirst for knowledge and wants to know it all.  And I mean all.  Many times I just can't keep up.  I need to be a step ahead with her and I just am not.  I put all types of books from the library on the coffee table.  At any given moment throughout the day, I will see her on the couch reading those books.  Ancient Egypt, the book of Presidents, Rembrandt.

We butt heads.  We see things differently.  If I give her half a chance, she shows me the possibilities in life.  Nothing is impossible for her.  She is a "can do" kind of girl.  Her dreams are bigger than reality.  And the words that make me quiver are "I've been thinking . . . "  The girl can think!!  She is definitely a problem solver.

Sometimes I wish I had a lot of  those qualities.  She definitely looks at life as a glass half full . . .