Changing of the Seasons

This has been an interesting summer for me. For some reason it has really hit home that I do not have a baby in the house any more. (Last night we measured her and she is 4 feet tall!) In the last couple of weeks my baby has worn the dress that NG has on in this picture. And it just threw me for a loop. How can that be? NG just wore that dress a couple of years ago!  Ha, ha! EG is almost at the age NG was when EG was born!

Maybe it is because I have been school planning for a high schooler. Or maybe because part of the summer has been going through old toys and clothes and school books. Maybe it is because my baby can actually fix her own breakfast. Maybe it is because my very first baby will be 18 in less than 4 years. Or maybe because next week, 3 of the 4 will be going to camp together. 

Anyway, I am still crazy busy but it is different. I am actually busy doing some things that I have an interest in. Things I never had time to do before. Things that God has placed on my heart and put before me.

It has made me sit back and kind of ponder "Where do we go from here?" "What should be our focus going forward?" For so many years I was just kind of in survival mode. Just making it through the day. Some days we still are just trying to make it through but I feel there is more "wiggle room." Now, not so many physical demands (except for maybe driving my almost teen and teenage around) but maybe more mental, emotional and spiritual "demands."

For so many years, we all went everywhere. Together. Whether it was the dentist or the grocery store. Now I can actually go get my hair cut. Almost whenever I want to.  Because they are old enough to stay by themselves. I was at the grocery store two weekends ago and the cashier asked me where my helpers were. It was strange.

Part of me is sad. I have been praying over a lot of really great things we could do going forward. Really trying to open my, our hearts, to ways that God would have us to love and serve and sacrifice. And part of me is super excited about that because I know God has a plan for us that I probably can't even imagine. I just look back over the last 15 years and think about how He has brought us from a newly married couple who were told we couldn't have kids, to a family with four and homeschooling. I know for a fact God does amazing things!

I know EG (or all of them for that matter) aren't babies anymore. Hubby sometimes has to take a double take at NG because he sometimes thinks she is me. But, I guess, no matter what, my babies will always be babies to me. For that I am truly thankful . . .