Birth Story - Nature Girl

Nature Girl was my first child. We had been told about 18 mos earlier that we could not have children. I had even gone to a specialist out of town. He told me that if I wanted to have children we would have to harvest my sister's eggs (who at the time was 13.) Honestly the thought repulsed me. We wanted children but we were in agreement that we would not do anything "drastic." If it happened it happened and if it didn't it didn't. It was Mother's Day weekend and I remember sitting in church thinking "I will never have anyone call me mom." We were shocked but by the grace of God willing to move on. A couple months later hubby and I were looking at a boat to buy and a day or two later I found out I was pregnant! (Of course there is more to the whole thing than that but it would take weeks to write it all out.) What a blessing to say the least!!! Needless to say we did not buy the boat. We were shocked but so very thankful. I am not a good pregnant person. I have tons of aches and strange pains from the beginning and it usually doesn't stop. But the baby is always healthy. I gain tons of weight and everyone always says I look healthier when I am pregnant. I was due on May 7th. On April 4th I had a strange feeling that my water broke. Natural Girl had been wedged way down and ready to go for some weeks by then. My SIL said to go for a walk. We did go for a walk, after having Taco Bell for dinner, and I still didn't feel right. In an abundance of caution we decided to go to triage. We thought for certain we would be home later that night. Well, after they checked me out and indeed determined that my water had broke 10 hours, an epidural and Staydol later we had baby girl number 1. She weighed 5lbs 15oz and was so tiny. But once again by the grace of God she was healthy. She was 4 weeks early but her lungs were developed. Because she was early she had trouble nursing and cried and slept a lot. I had hemorrhaged after delivery so was kind of weak. When we left the hospital three days later we still were having trouble nursing. (She was 5 lbs 2 oz - the size of a sack of sugar!) It was so hard. I had tubes on me to encourage her to nurse and had to do all sorts of strange things. We hadn't been home three days when she had to go back to the hospital because she was severely jaundice. I was a wreck!! It being my first baby I was clueless. Here I was in the hospital with a baby in an incubator looking thing with lights blaring on her 24/7. Naked with little patches over her eyes so the light wouldn't harm her eyes. She needed to eat but wouldn't/couldn't. Two days later we were released again and I continued with my struggle to nurse. She slept during the day and was up all night. I was certain I never, ever wanted to do that again!! Finally after seriously doing all that the lactation ladies could think of, I gave up nursing. I thought, in a way, I had failed. My mom gave me some encouraging words and I started of feel better and we started to get into a groove about 8 mos into the whole thing. It was nothing like I had ever expected. I didn't have a clue and when Nature Girl came early it just took us all by surprise of which I don't think we ever fully recovered. I asked a friend at work, "Was I horrible for not wanting more children??" I learned so much that first year. Once I got confidence and realized IT isn't easy and not EVERY mother knows everything it didn't take long for me to get baby fever. 22 months after Nature Girl was born Little Mama was born . . . .