Natural Consequences

I think one of the most important lessons a child can learn is that of natural consequences. And probably one of the hardest a parent can teach. As parents our natural inclination is to protect our children. To ensure their happiness. To keep them from hurt or disappointment. And I think that is very important to a degree. But I think if you think about it, life is all about the decisions you make and the consequences of those decisions be them good or bad. I think you spend the younger years explaining decision making, reminding them of what good choices look like, what we base our decision making on, explaining the consequences of bad decision making. And then at some point, sooner rather then later you let them make their own choices based on what you have tried to teach (and a lot of prayer). Example: the girls got a real miniature tea set for Christmas. I see it laying around the house all the time. I have told them, repeatedly, that something will probably happen to it because it isn't in a safe place. This morning Boop got a hold of it. I could hear him clanking it around. Motherly instinct wants to say to Little Mama "Get your tea set. Boop has it and he could chip it or break it." But I kept my mouth shut. It has been weeks that I have been instructing the girls about this particular toy. At some point, what I do just becomes nagging. And no one pays attention to a nag :) So, a few minutes later Little Mama comes to me and says "Boop has my tea set." I very lovingly and calmly say "I have told you before to keep it in a safe spot." Thankfully nothing happened this time. Little Mama was able to get her tea set back and put it in a safe place. Now I do say to Boop "You are not to touch things that don't belong to you." Another example: The girls wanted to spend $10 of their own money on a Valentine Build A Bear outfits. My usual response is let's think about it because there are better ways to spend our money. A day or two later Nature Girl opted to buy a great pillow for her newly decorated room. I praised her on a really great choice. But I let her know that once the pillow was purchased it could not be returned (store policy) and if she wanted we could wait a day or two. (She is my impulsive shopper.) She was insistent that she wanted it. OK. Little Mama still opted for the outfit. The day came to take Little Mama to get the outfit and Nature Girl was sad. She had changed her mind and wanted an outfit for her Build A Bear. I searched my mind and heart for a way out of the situation but I had made it perfectly clear that if she picked the pillow there was no turning back. During the trip to the Build A Bear store she didn't pout or beg. I was proud. She was still visibly disappointed but I knew I had made the right choice. There were so many lessons to be learned from that one incident. First, money doesn't grow on trees. Second, it is important to think through every decision/choice that you make. Third, how to be happy with what you have. Fourth, their are consequences for every decision/choice. I could go on and on. I will use that example for many years to come. All I can do is teach what I think I know. And then pray for God to do the rest. This parenting thing isn't easy . . .