Always Saying "No"

I had a totally different post in mind. In fact, I had typed the title and just changed it. I mean just this second. Lately, well honestly not just lately, I say "no" all the time. It is an automatic response. Whatever they are asking the answer is "no." I don't even think. I am pretty sure I don't even listen. "No." I feel guilty about this. And annoyed about this. I hate being that way. "No." It just comes out. "No." I am now going to list every excuse I use for saying "no." It is usually something messy; usually something that needs my attention; usually something that is loud; will in time create some type of problem; something I just don't want to deal with; a good idea but just the wrong time (can't tell you when a good time will be); something inappropriate (as in TV show etc.); time consuming; I just don't feel like it. I am sure there are more but I just can't think of them right now.

One day last week I was feeling especially guilty. I confessed to my very wise friend what I was feeling that day. She gave me some very wise words of advice. First, it is OK to say "no." I am home all day every day with my children. There is just no possible way I can do everything they ask of me. Second, if I say "no" and have taken a minute to rethink my position, if they don't argue about the "no" go ahead and let them know I have reconsidered. But, let them know that the fact that they didn't argue or disagree with my "no" was a big factor in changing my mind. Lastly, take a breath before I answer any request. Try to think things through before I answer. That way my "no" will mean "no." And there might be a few more "yeses."

I am still a work in progress . . . "no". . .