Approaching . . .

I think I am going to share a little of my heart today. Not too much. Just a little. This weekend is bittersweet. My baby girl will be 2 on Sunday. Gosh, it seems like just yesterday I was fixin' to have this baby with just hubby in the delivery room.

As I have said before, each kid's delivery has been so indicative of their personality. But, that isn't what this is about. It is about contentment and getting old and moving on and changing my role in life. And, not knowing what the future brings.

Every time I see a young mom with a passel of kids and pregnant again, I get this feeling in my belly. Kind of a wishing or a longing. To be in that place again. Fat and sassy with a blessing straight from God growing in my belly.

Hubby gets nervous because he knows me so well, he knows what is coming next. He has told me three times before he is done. And, thanks be to God, and hubby not being all that firm, we have been blessed with some awesomely amazing children. And, through those children, I have learned to love so much more. I have learned what true patience is. I have been a part of a miracle over and over and over and over again.

As I approach the birthday of my baby, my last baby turning two, I am sooooo thoughtful and thankful because I honestly don't know what we would have done without her. I think if you were to ask all the kids they would grin from ear to ear and have a sparkle in their eye and say "life would be so boring." She is just icing on a very delicious cake for us.

I am old and I am tired. And every time someone asks me if we are going to have another baby my response is "most likely not, but if it happens I would be thrilled." But, even though I am old and I truly believe we have a complete family, I sometimes feel a little twinge because that part of my life is over.

I am a slow learner and so wished I would have realized so much sooner, how quickly these days pass. Babies are babies for such a little, little time. They grow into thoughtful, beautiful young boys and girls. But, there is just something about a baby.

As I lay awake last night, praying for a friend, I also said a little prayer for me. That I would gracefully accept where I am in life. That I will embrace it and cherish it and enjoy all the stages of family life. It is time for us/me to move on. I know God has a great and glorious plan for each one of us. So am going to spend my thoughts and prayers on seeking His will for me now . . .