Irony of Motherhood

I love irony. And I think motherhood is the epitome of irony. What other life choice can be so filled with joy AND frustration. All is less than a minute!

I was chatting with my considerably younger sister yesterday. She is in her early 20s and just beginning her life. She has so many options and choices and decisions ahead of her. Choices and decision that will most likely affect or effect (to lazy to look it up) her future. And I think part of my responsibility to her is to show her what a Godly family looks like (although we are lacking in many, many ways and so thankful for God's grace.) Which is so ironic because she is one that I probably complain to the most! Because she has a good sense of humor and is easy to talk to and is not judgemental and I love her and like to hear her perspective, I tend to tell her a lot about my struggles. But in a kind of joking way. Because she is our babysitter and is at our house sort of regularly (although not lately ;) she sees what really goes on around here.

It occurred to me yesterday that maybe she sees how frustrating and hard it is, but doesn't always see how fulfilling it is. Where else can you go from smiling uncontrollably about something a child said to tears about something a child has said in just a matter of minutes. Where else can you want to be alone so badly that you will lock yourself in the bathroom just to get a few seconds of peace but not want your children out of your presence more than absolutely necessary. Where else can you gladly send you children off with a family member only to feel so alone in the silence. Where else do you keep some one close, "sheltered" only to eventually send them out into the big bad world to be "salt and light." Where else do you weep for joy AND sadness. What other job brings tremendous pleasure and tremendous heartache. A job that you want to be about you but isn't AT ALL about you. What other job in this whole entire world can leave you feeling so physically, emotionally and mentally drained yet so completely and utterly fulfilled as a human being?!

I felt bad yesterday because I think I give my sister the wrong impression. But, it is really hard for me to describe what I consider to be the ironies of this wonderful, fulfilling, a lot of times frustrating role I believe God created me for. I guess you just have to live it to fully understand . . .

Ticket Please

In my effort to get my children to obey immediately, yesterday we started a new family program. Yes, I know, it is my second attempt at a program in the last couple months. Hey, I figure if something isn't working for whatever reason, I am totally OK with abandoning the idea for something new and improved!

Boot Camp is over. It has failed. Not for any other reason then it was too labor intensive for my part in the plan. In theory it was great! It had lots of benefits - obedience, hard work, getting things done around the house. But, it took too much of my time. I found that I had to follow up and make sure they had done their punishment chore. And a lot of times their punishment chore couldn't be done at the time of the offense. And then I would forget. I know all great plans take effort in the beginning to reap the rewards. But this just wasn't working out.

So for many weeks we just didn't do anything. I was getting increasingly frustrated. And then a very open mother of 3 soon to be 4 posted to my homeschool email group, a very transparent email about her own troubles of immediate obedience (and other similar issues.) A couple of our moms who have "gone before" took the time to respond to her (and the rest of our group.) And their words were so helpful. One mom gave about 5 or 6 ideas to guide this particular mom. Another mom backed up the first mom but encouraged her (and the rest of us) to use tools as a supplement to God's word. Another mom said how much she needed to hear what the others had shared. I was one of those moms who needed to hear.

Anyway, the following is another stolen idea that we have had in the works since yesterday. I bought a role of tickets from Staples. Each time a child obeys immediately they get a ticket. When a certain number of tickets are collected (different amounts for different ages) a special treat is in store for that child. Examples of some treats: stay up late, extra cookie after dinner, play video game during the week, trade in ticket to get out of a chore. If they don't obey immediately they get a ticket taken away. As daddy explained to the kids on Sunday, it is a work in progress. My MIL called it bribery and I suppose in a way it is. But it has been surprising to me how many times a day I ask them to do something. And if I have to tell them more than once, well you get the idea. Things that are excluded from a ticket are those things they all ready know to do. Like chore charts and turning off lights and table manners.

Yesterday we had to leave the house on two separate occasions. This is usually when rubber hits the road. I usually have to scream and nag and remind them to find shoes, brush hair, go to the bathroom, put such and such away. Yesterday, nothing but a soft voice giving directions. For the most part I got a "Yes, ma'am" and the chore was done.

I am not going to kid myself, who knows if I will stick with it. And I have been wondering how do I wean them from the tickets. But it worked yesterday and it is working so far today. That is really all I can worry about for the moment . . .

Multigenerational Church

The last two Sundays I have had the pleasure of having the three bigger kids in church with me. Nature Girl doesn't have a choice because there is no children's church. Little Mama just wants to come with us. And now Boop doesn't want to be left out.

Up until two weeks ago, the deal was Boop had to go to his class during service when I am at church by myself (every other Sunday daddy works.) But last week I figured, what the heck. The girls have been doing very well (listening and writing in their journals) so I figured I could handle one more. He was given very specific instructions (to sit relatively still, draw in his prayer journal, listen for the word I give the girls to listen for, etc.) and he has been doing great.

In the beginning of the service when we sing our praise songs he wants me to hold him and I do as I sing and sway to the music. He wraps his legs around me real tight and alternates burying his head in my neck and straining his neck to see what is going on. (Thankfully he hardly weighs anything!)

When we sit down he sits in my lap and only fidgets a little bit. But he takes turns listening, drawing and looking things up in his "bible." (Which is currently an encyclopedia volume - I haven't gotten him his own real one yet.) He smiles and giggles and waves when he sees someone he knows. Yesterday he grabbed my head, turned it practically all the way around to show me the lady we had seen shopping the night before. I smiled and waved at her.

During welcome time, I am trying to teach the kids to look people in the eye, shake their hands and say "good morning" and answer questions. Yesterday, after they welcome, daddy and Boop went to check on EG (who is in the nursery - don't think I can do all four just yet :)

A friend of mine who has always brought all five of his kids into the church service (even when they were babies) told me that even if they hear just one phrase or idea or verse that they have heard at home it's worth it. No, they are not going to understand some of what is being said but they will grasp some little detail. And then it becomes their own. The sufficiency of God's word works that way. No cartoon video. No brightly colored worksheet. No childish language. It all seems to be a great part of a child cultivating his/her own relationship with Christ.

Yesterday there just happened to be a couple of baptisms. I can tell my kids that being baptised after you are saved is what God wants us to do. But to actually see kids and adults stepping out in faith is totally something else. It has a different effect on them (and on me ;).

I have been reading a lot lately about the concepts of a multigenerational church. How it benefits the family and the church family. So many churches take so much time and effort separating out age groups instead of bringing them together. To worship together. As a family that God created. As I read more about it and ponder the benefits, I am glad my family has chosen to worship with me . . .

Silent Sunday

Nature Pictures

I don't think I have posted these pictures before. They are from the handful of times we have been to the creek. It is amazing what changes in just a week or twos time. The last time I went I took a reference picture so we could see how things change from week to week.

The kids just love going. And I do to most of the time (unless it is hot and humid.) I give the kids one or two things to focus on and the rest is just fun. Because we had read a book about why leaves change colors I had them pick a leaf from a tree that we do not have in our yard. We have a couple tree and leave books. Plus, daddy loves identifying trees.

We didn't make it to the creek this week. But a friend of mine gave me the idea of a nature circle. You place a rope in a circle in your yard. And for about 10 minutes, you have the kids just sit and observe what is going on in the circle. I think there are questions to ask etc. but I didn't get that far yesterday. I had gone out, made the circle in the shade, given them instructions and then came back inside to do whatever. When I looked out the window just a few minutes later, Little Mama was up a tree, Nature Girl was sitting IN the circle (and proceeded to make a cobweb out of the rope) and Boop was doing heaven knows what. I guess for the first time or two I will need to be sure they are doing what they are told.

We are all excited for fall. We just wish it would get cooler . . .

Tidbits for Today

Yesterday Little Mama had her pre-team prep class at tumbling. I have to tell you, she is incredible. They were doing this thing called a pancake. You put your legs in a straddle position on the floor and you put your tummy to the ground. Out of about 10 kids, Little Mama was the only one who could do it. It looked painful. But she just did it like it was no big deal!

For the last year or so both girls (first NG and now LM) have had a wonderful tumbling instructor, Coach Nicki. You can tell she likes the girls. She always goes out of her way to smile and tease them. And I honestly believe she is really trying to help them be better gymnasts. She takes her time with them, sternly encourages them and doesn't let them be lazy (or say they can't do something.) She even smiles and teases Boop when she sees him.

Yesterday at tumbling I read to Boop from one of the books he got at the library. A new word for him was twilight. He wanted a definition and I gave it to him. On the way home I explained that twilight was coming. When we got home, he went outside and came back in. "It's the word outside." Meaning twilight. This morning he got up and wanted to show me the word twilight in his book.

On the way home from tumbling NG says "Walgreen's has Charmin Ultra on sale for $3.49. That is cheaper than Publix's $8." I had to laugh and then call daddy to tell him. He suggested that from now on we give her the coupons, money and grocery list and send her grocery shopping! I couldn't agree more.

Little Mama just finished her Kindergarten Math workbook. She is very excited to start First Grade Math. Because she does her math sheets so fast, I have had to ask her to slow down and work on writing pretty numbers. She really is a concepts kind of gal.

Yesterday the kids had me light a candle for lunchtime.

It cracks me up every morning when the kids see EG. She is the last to get up and when I come out of the room with her, they all yell her name. Like she is a rock star or something. It is incredible to me how excited they get over her. I constantly tell them "Geez, you see her all day long!" Or, "She isn't going anywhere." They absolutely, positively love her for so many different and varied reasons.

Gosh, I love my kids . . .

Little Mama and the Library

About 2 months ago, maybe more, we made our first trip back to the library in a very long time. I love the library. One of my fondest memories as a kid is riding to our neighborhood library that was housed in an older, larger remodeled home. I have loved to read since as far back as I can remember!! My favorites were horse stories by Margarite Henry and the Boxcar Children.

Sorry, this isn't about me today! So, about 2 months ago we made it to the library. It turned out to be a very special occasion. Little Mama got her very own library card! She was so excited. She let all of us check out our books on her card. They also gave her a really neat book bag which she uses to carry all of our books back and forth to the library. (The other kids were jealous)

The kids love to go to the library and we try to go every two or three weeks. Today Little Mama picked out four books from the Magic Tree House Series. She is in the process of learning to read and she sits down with those books and flips the pages looking for words that she knows! Nature Girl picked out three Nancy Drew Mysteries and one book from the Boxcar Children series. I had to challenge her. She is a fast and fabulous reader so I made her pick out little bit harder books. Boop gets Magic Tree House books as well. No picture books for him. He chooses his books based on how interesting the covers are. I let EG have a book or two while we are there but she just chews on them so I put them back. I usually get a couple of books. Mostly for school. Books on VanGogh (we are studying his art), leaves (because it is fall), apples (because we have them for lunch) and Christopher Columbus (because of the holiday on Monday.)

I was so excited for Little Mama to get her library card. I explained to her that reading can take her places that she may never go. Or learn about things that she may otherwise not be taught. Reading and books open a whole new world for those who take an interest. There is no way for us to know everything. But, all we have to be able to do is read and be able to find information and then there isn't anything we can't know about!

No matter what books they pick out, I just love quiet time after we have been to the library . . .