Rant

So, the more I have been thinking about this the more annoyed I am getting. Yesterday I had my 6 month follow up appointment to my cervical biopsy. (I have to go every six months now until I have regular paps.) Anyway, we were discussing things like babies and getting time alone etc. (I was a little disappointed because I was able to get in and out of the doctor's office in about an hour. I had brought a book to read and thought for sure it being a Monday morning they would be REALLY busy!) Anyway, the topic of birth control came up. She asked me what we were using. At first I didn't really care about her question. It is the OBs office. It is a valid question. But, she really didn't like my answer. She mentioned that she was going to make a note in my records about my choice and that she had encouraged me to "make the call." She said she didn't want to see me back in the office saying "oops." Ha, ha we both laugh. Then I got to thinking, what the heck business is it of hers what I do for birth control AND so what if I want a million kids (which I don't.) I know it is her job to prescribe birth control. BUT, I am a 41 year old, married woman with four kids. I am pretty sure I can do what I want with my body. If I want more kids at the age of 41 that is MY business.

She wasn't overtly against my decision. She wasn't ugly or judgemental. She was just kind of underhanded. Not once did she ask me if I was going to have more children (I am not.) Not once did she ask me what my hubby thought of more children (he does not.) She just kind of assumed. And, the more I thougth about it, the more it annoyed me.

To some degree, I am not the norm. Four kids, including a 7 1/2 month old and in my early 40s. It is my husband's and my decision. Nobody elses business! Nobody . . .

Ready, Set . . .

crawl. Well, not quite. But it isn't for the lack of trying. She is getting up on her knees and rocking back and forth. She wants to go. She just can't get everything working together. She then gives up in matter of seconds and rolls where she wants to go. Whatever works . . .

Silent Sunday

Frustrating Friday

My Friday started out like any other day. We are right in the middle of redoing our guest bathroom. So, currently it has nothing on the walls, no paint or paper. And the floor is cement. So first thing in the morning we met daddy at a tile place to find a tile we could both agree on. (Thankfully daddy is working in our area of town.) After about 45 minutes of looking we found one that we both liked. We checked out a sample and brought it home. We decided it would look great in our bathroom. Yea! We were on our way to completing the latest of our home improvements! After lunch we then met daddy at Home Depot to pick out paint to match the tile. After about 10 minutes of comparing and discussing we were able to agree on a paint color. We were on a roll!! That was about 2PM. I left Home Depot and was going to go order the tile and the kids and I would get the paint in the morning. I was sooo excited. (I think you are suppose to have tile and paint picked out before you tear up your bathroom.)

Anyway, there is a road from the paint store to the tile place and it is 55mph. It drops down to 35mph in a matter of a block or two. If you aren't paying attention and you don't travel the road very often, it is easy to speed along the residential part of the street. We take that road all the time. I know how quickly the speed drops. Plus, the kids are always asking me "Mommy, are you speeding?" So I really do try to watch my speed. I am sure you all know where I am going with this. I check my rear view mirror and darn it if I didn't see a TPD car with its lights flashing. C***!!!!! I pulled off to the side of the road. (Hoping he wasn't following me.) I really wasn't sure why he had pulled me over. I was certain I was slowing down. I know the road. Little Mama started to cry. I assured her there was nothing to worry about. The officer came up and asked if I knew why he had stopped me. I told him honestly that I wasn't sure. He said it drops from 55 to 40 then to 35. Apparently I was going 50 in the 40. I said "Geez, give a girl a break." (With a big cheesy grin.) "I know I needed to slow down." I was trying to be respectful. Of course, I had to call daddy and because he was in the area he was on his way. When the officer came back he told me I didn't have my license sticker on my car, I was going 50 in a 40 AND my license was expired more than 4 months which was a criminal and arrestable offense. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? You are going to arrest me with my 4 kids in the car?? I told him who my hubby was and that he was on his way. By the time the officer was through explaining everything to me hubby had shown up and they started to chitchat. He ended up cutting me some slack. I needed to right then get my license taken care of, show proof of it to DSMV and to slow down. Daddy followed me home because now that I knew my license was invalid, if I got stopped again it would definately be a criminal charge!

Coco was going to babysit for the kids. Mickey was going to drive me to the DSMV. But before all that happened I was going to order the tile. When I called to do that the price was twice as much as hubby had expected. Oh boy was I bummed. Not only could I not drive anywhere but now we had to start all over on the tile and paint hunt!! I don't know which one frustrated me the most. One problem at a time. First the license. We got to the DSMV. I had waited maybe a minute then they called my number. Yea!! One last hurdle, please, please don't take my picture. So as I was going through the questions the lady says "Please step over there for an eye test and to get your picture taken." I begged her "Please no!!" "Can't I keep the picture I have." "Yes, if you had done it on line." Ugh!!! My picture on my old license was from 12 years ago. Right after I got married. I looked GREAT!! Blonde, long, curly hair and a tan. Makeup on (including lipstick) and a nice suit. I was smiling and looked fresh and healthy and rested. Yesterday, I hadn't even showered yet. My hair was greasy and in a pony tail. Not a stitch of makeup on. I didn't even have my purse to put on chapstick. I had a black T-shirt on. Pasty white and black circles under my eyes. The end result looked like a mug shot!!! So, so embarrassing. I think I would have rather paid a huge fine. Just kidding, sort of!

Chuckle for the day: "Due to the economy, the light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily turned off." Don't think I got it exactly right. Don't know who wrote it but you get the general idea. To be continued . . .

Opera?!

First of all, I know I am a little off as far as parenting things go. I have strange ideas sometimes. Well, last week was one of them. We rented from Netflix an opera. When I mentioned this to my friend yesterday she gave me a really quizzical look. And she knows me pretty well. Let me explain. (I like to explain.) For Christmas, we got a children's book full of abbreviated opera stories. The kids loved the stories. I read them to Little Mama (and Boop when he would sit still) and Nature Girl read them at night. So, we rented the Magic Flute because the kids new the gist of the story. The kids tolerated it, sat through it quietly but did not ask to keep it when I got ready to put it the envelope to return it. Thankfully it was only 42 minutes long. I suppose I was a little disappointed. I was hopin' to git 'em some a that thar culture. But, as I thought about it a little more I realized I really don't like opera either.

Well, yesterday, I frustrated because it had been another hotter than hades day. Which means the kids didn't want to be outside (couldn't blame them.) I even called daddy to come home because we all were going stir crazy. ;) Of course, I knew the answer would be "no." But, it never hurts to ask. :) Sometimes it just makes me feel better to ask. Can't explain it just does. Anyway, after lunch I hear Little Mama singing "don't want to be alarmed, don't want to be alarmed." I look at Nature Girl and she has part of Boop's sword on her behind and it is a stinger and she is pretending to be a bee chasing Little Mama. Boop is running around yelling. They had, what I called a little opera going on. As Little Mama was running and singing words and acting, I told her that is exactly what an opera is. They thought it was kind of cool. EG was even getting in on it by "ya - ya"ing as the kids would run by her. So, they decided to put on an opera. Nature Girl was the director, of course. Her version was a little bit more swing or hip-hop. I gave them a 5 minute limit for a performance. They got dressed and did a little show. Not quite what it was originally but what the heck.

My initial reaction when the day wasn't going well was to turn on the TV. I resisted and am so glad I did. I would have missed the premier performance of "Don't Want to Be Alarmed" put on by the cast and crew of the Connell Family . . .

Tidbits for Today

We were playing Yahtzee the other day. We had just bought it so I needed to teach the girls. It was amazing to me how quickly Little Mama picked up the concept of the game. It still intrigues me how each child learns.

For days before Nature Girl went to horse camp she walked around in my cowboy hat. Wish I would have gotten a picture because she looked adorable.

The kids would be sitting at the breakfast table when Mickey would come out of his room. Boop would yell "Hey, Mickey D's!!" Like he was surprised he was here.

We went to the activity pool for a party the other night. They had the big slide open. Neither girl had ever been down it before. So daddy took them up. The bummer part was daddy couldn't go down with the girls so they had to go by themselves. There was a lifeguard on top and a lifeguard in the water at the bottom of the slide. Nature Girl did not hesitate. Little Mama needed a little encouragement. Daddy told her if she went down on her own he would buy her some Tic-Tacs and then he gave her a little shove. She loves the slide now. And does it all by herself - over and over and over again.

Our dining room table fits 6 comfortably. It is kind of long and because there was only 5 of us at the table when we sat down for dinner it was hard to pass stuff on one side because of the empty chair. Boop calls it a missing link. Now Mickey fills that chair - he is the missing link :)

Nature Girl - "I can't wait until I am 30 or 10 so my ears won't get infected."

EG hums when she nurses.

John and Kate Plus 8

First, I have only watched the show maybe three times. To be honest, the way Kate talked to John hit a little too close to home. (I didn't see the show last night. From what I understand John was in "poor me" mode because he is 32 with 8 kids.) Second, I don't advocate divorce. But, to some degree, I don't blame John for hittin' the brinks. Let me explain myself. As I mentioned in my second sentence, the way Kate talked to John can be a little bit how I talk with my hubby. I am a control freak, I like things done my way and if you don't understand what I want I tend to lose my patience. I KNOW I need to change. I KNOW my behavior, reactions are not right. And honestly I am doing a little better. And now, every time I open my mouth to be disrespectful or henpeck or nag, I realize that any day my very patient hubby could say enough of this ____. I am out of here.

I guess my point is, every one deserves respect. As I mentioned in my first sentence, I have only watched the show maybe three times. I am sure the Gosslin (spelling) relationship has many more problems then just the way they relate to each other. But, having dated and been married to the same man for over 17 years, I feel the need to express that constant disrespect to your spouse takes its toll. And I would say that if the husband started to talk to his wife that way, the wife probably wouldn't tolerate it.

My husband is a patient, laid back man. He doesn't have the same priorities as I have. He doesn't worry about the things I worry about. He thinks brown and navy go together :) He doesn't feed the kids the way I do or discipline them the way I do. And you know, there probably isn't a day that goes by that I don't mention (not very kindly) the differences to him. But you know, I am really starting to realize he doesn't have to take it! If he said to me tomorrow, I have had enough I am history I think to some degree I would know that I drove him away. Now, I don't think he would ever do that but every time I disrespect him I am driving a wedge in our marriage. If I don't realize that I am wrong and if I continue to year after year treat him like a dog and he doesn't leave he is going to be MISERABLE. And he would probably find some kind of happiness somewhere with something or someone. That is the truth of it and a chance I don't want to take.

I have a fabulous husband and father. He is not me. He is not meant to be like me, think like me, handle things like me. I can't even imagine our household if he were impatient and a control freak. Our kids wouldn't have a prayer :) God has called ME to be respectful and obedient to my husband. He has called ME to be his helpmeet. He has called him to be the leader. If my husband chooses to lead in a different way, handle things in a different way, care about things in a different way then what I expect of him, that is then my problem.

I think, maybe, many of today's marriages start off on the wrong foot. Many young couples feel that it is a 50/50 relationship. I know I did. I remember the pastor who married us said if one day hubby wakes up and says we shouldn't go to church anymore, I was to obey him. Crazy. But now, 12 years later, I understand what he was trying to tell me. Only one can lead. And Gog intended it to be the man. It is especially difficult if you are a woman with a strong personality, opinions, thoughts about the way things should be done, a control freak, impatient (I am describing myself by the way), the struggle to be a good wife can be very hard (I know.) But after listening to many women talk about marriage and reading the Bible and many other marriage books, I know what my role is. I AM NOT CLOSE TO BEING PERFECT. I have a long way to go and honestly know I will never really get there. But, I think my hubby knows that I am working on it. I try to be humble and obedient and respectful and understanding and loving. I try to let him lead. He will lead if every decision he makes doesn't get criticized. (Don't misunderstand, hubby and I come to many decisions by the two of us talking about them.) I know that if I have concerns, I need to broach them with respect and love. And I am starting to realize it isn't my way or the highway.

Do I agree with John Gosslin for leaving his family? NO WAY. Should he stick it out and work through it? YES. Should he have gotten his ears pierced and get an apartment in New York? NO. But I do think the whole episode can speak volumes to what can be wrong in some marriages. Husbands who are unwilling to lead and the wives who are unwilling to give them the chance.

I don't intend on being a doormat. But I hope to have a relationship that is built on obedience in love, respect and humility.

Of course this is strictly my opinion . . .