Lessons Learned

Or it could be titled: I Am Naive or Rude Awakening.

We deliver to an elderly couple for Meals on Wheels. They live in a cinder block house probably about three miles from us. Nice couple. Always very polite and thankful when we bring their food. They like coke and fruit punch and juice and white bread so we try to bring those things to them as well.

As we do with all of our clients, we always offer to help them with anything they might need. For this couple, I always offer to bring their food into the kitchen. They only get frozen meals once a week, so the bags can be pretty heavy. She always declines. We chat for a few minutes and then I leave.

About 2 weeks ago, she asked me to put her food in the kitchen. So LM, Boop and I did just that. And I was absolutely, positively shocked by what I saw. It was a mess and there were insects running every where. She happen to have someone there at the time trying to help her with her problem. I offered whatever assistance I could, at the time, and when she didn't need anything from us, we left.

But, as I was driving home I was speechless. It obviously wasn't a new insect problem, just one that was out of control and probably had been for quite some time.

When I got home, I told hubby the story in tears. I felt God calling me to do something. That I couldn't just forget what I saw. But, I had no idea what to do. One of the first things I did was email my church and forward a little bit of the story and then asked for volunteers for cleaning or whatever else the couple might need.

So, when I delivered MOWs this past Wednesday, I asked the lady if there was anything she wanted cleaned or any type of help, especially because I knew she was working to get rid of her pest problem. She asked right away if we would help her clean off a porch/sitting room in her house. And I said sure. No problem. That was not what I originally thought she would want me to do but I told her that I would call her as soon as I could get together some help.

That Friday, my hubby and I, the two older girls, and another man from church met at the lady's home with two pick-up trucks and a trailer, garbage bags and gloves. We went in, ready to clean out her inside porch area. But, as I talked with her she seemed overwhelmed and had other things on her mind. She hadn't had time to go through the stuff on the porch and just didn't want us taking it away. She still had her pest problem and I offered, again, to clean her kitchen, but she declined and said she would get to it when she felt better.

After a little conversation, I convinced her to let us go through her carport. There was all kinds of stuff out front. Boxes and bags and cans full of "stuff." There were electronics and fishing gear. None of it looked like it had been touched in forever. So, we took a little initiative and just started going through stuff.

She sat with us telling us what could go and what to keep. A lot of the stuff she just wasn't willing to part with. I looked quizzically at hubby and he just said it was a comfort to her. He deals with people in this situation all the time. Houses full of stuff, insects and rodents taking over. And most of the time, the people just don't even seem to notice or care.

As it was explained to me by my husband and the man who was helping, it is just the way it is. Just the way they live, and probably have always lived. There are thousands of families just in our area who live like this.

I still shake my head. I still see the images in my mind. I still feel the need to help and have offered her my help any time she needs me. But, I am learning, that I cannot help those who don't want help or don't think they need help.

Hubby asked me, while we were there, if I was there for them, or for me. I hesitated a moment. But, I know that God called me to do something because it was so out of my comfort zone. Even if it is just being available to this family. I will continue to bring them the meals, bread, juice and soda. And continue to ask every Wednesday when I leave "Is there anything I can do for you?"

It has been a hard lesson to learn. It is incredible how naive I can be. And definitely a rude awakening. But, it has definitely softened my heart to needs, wants, desires and lives of others. . .